All posts by Mike

Life Insurance guy tells me I’m in denial? That I’m going to die sooner than I think?

Still trying to figure out if it’s some sort of oddly-worded hard sell or the world’s most clueless or perhaps insensitive life insurance person ever. Here’s the story-

This morning, I get a phone call from my life insurance guy. Don’t ask me why I have a life insurance guy. He seemed to come attached to a former accountant for our business. Whatever, back in 2010 I bought a fairly decent policy, at a time my health was so good that the price seemed like something I couldn’t pass up. I would have been 54 at the time. It wasn’t for another two years that I picked up my first real health issue and started going to the doctor again and accumulating a medical record such that life insurance would no longer be a reasonable possibility.

Two items that, individually, might have kicked me into higher-cost premiums than I could rationalize (first Raynauds, a circulation issue that effects your extremities, and later my breathing issues that require meds for a type of asthma), but together would have likely made only the most-expensive policies available to me. But, no biggie, life goes on, already have the insurance policy, and figure it’s just money I’m paying into for which I’ll never see a benefit.

Well today I get to tell my life insurance guy that it’s a good thing I got the policy when I did because I’ve not got a very mild type of bone marrow cancer. Something that likely won’t shorten lifespan, so I’m fine.

He tells me, outright, no sugar coating, that “You shouldn’t be in denial. It will shorten your life.” What???!!! This guy knows nothing of the details of my particular cancer. I just got back from a conference on my particular cancer, in which a lot of time was spent on the expected lifespan and quality of life issues for the different variations. And, for me, things look pretty darned good. I’m really comfortable with that.

But what if this guy had said what he’d said when I didn’t have all the facts, when I was concerned about things going south much earlier? In other words, at a time I was really shaken up about mortality issues, where for a time, were quite a concern? I likely wouldn’t have reacted as benignly as I did on the phone this morning, that’s for sure. I was intellectually engaged and extremely curious about where he was going with this conversation, but fortunately, entirely detached from any sort of negative emotions.

I’d feel most comfortable about the conversation if I could figure out a purely financial motivation for his odd almost-lecture about my denial, but I really can’t. Maybe it’s part of his own self-rationalization, a way of proving to himself that he’s doing the right thing, selling people something they hopefully don’t need. But I think that should come, if it should come up at all, when you’re trying to sell someone a policy, not when you hear it’s possible they might need to actually use it. 🙂

No Kings ride this morning; attended a medical conference instead (???!!!)

One of many, many, many slides with information relevant to my status as someone afflicted with a Myleoproliferative Neoplasm. I’d much rather learn about bicycle doping. 🙂

Got to admit it felt really strange, getting up at the regular time for the regular Tuesday/Thursday-morning ride, but instead of getting Kevin up, I took a shower, got dressed, and rode my bike. To the shop. Wrong direction! At the shop I switched from my nice bike to the shop klunker, and headed to catch a train to San Mateo. Felt like a regular commuter, taking a train full of bikes and people to their jobs in the ‘City. Got off and rode just over half a mile to a corporate campus (Franklin something-or-other) where there were tons of places to park fancy cars, lots of fancy buildings and… no bike racks! Seriously?

An early discussion panel featuring some of the best & the brightest medical minds in their field.

So why was I here, instead of riding through the steep part of Huddart Park on my way to Kings? Because it was time to associate with my “other” peeps. I got the regular titles, cyclist, dad, husband, biz owner. But there’s also that other title I acquired a year ago May. Chronic Myleoproliferative Neoplasm guy. A type of “mild” bone marrow cancer, specifically Essential Thrombocythemia. Part of a family that includes Polycythemia Vera and Myleofibrosis. Stuff that scared the crap out of me at diagnosis but I’ve gradually come to terms with it over time. And now, it was time to hear from the experts, in a room with others similarly afflicted. My peeps.

These peeps aren’t going to be seen riding a bike fast up Kings, although one woman had recently run a half marathon. Mostly they’re my age or a bit older. They don’t look different from anybody else, although in general they’re suffering from various chronic ailments like bone pain, fatigue & headaches. Things that fortunately haven’t found their way home to me. But it seemed like a good idea to attend a function where my other peeps got to hear from a panel of 5 or 6 experts in the field and get informed about the latest drugs, clinical trials, and prognostic breakthroughs. Yes, with enough data they can now offer a reasonable idea of how long you’ve got. But… do you want to know? They actually didn’t get into that question, which surprised me.

These are the tools of torture used to perform a bone marrow biopsy.

Turns out I’ve got until Sept 20th, 2026. JUST KIDDING!!! I don’t actually fit into the prognostic formulas, partly because I haven’t had the latest super-advanced genetic mutation testing, and partly because that testing is likely irrelevant because my primary mutation is, frankly, the best one to have. Life expectancy is generally normal, even if my disease “progresses” to the nasty end-stage that, ironically, my father died from 30 years ago. In my case, it ain’t got no teeth. It’s possible I could pick up additional mutations along the way, but so could anybody else.

They even had a bone marrow biopsy specialist there, explaining the procedure for getting samples… that’s fine… but did they have to show the slides with the equipment they use? Equipment being hand-held needle/punch hybrids? Somehow I got through it.

Overall it was very worthwhile. It felt good to confront my mortality head-on in a deliberate fashion. I learned some interesting new stuff, but mostly it was about finding my place in this alternative community I’ve acquired. I guess it’s not really alternative, but I see it that way because it’s not something I had a hand in choosing.

Heading home, I got to the San Mateo (Hillsdale actually) station just as a train was leaving. If I’d known the station better, I probably could have made it. Next train, 15 minutes. Not a big deal but… I’m on a bike… why not ride the 6 or 7 miles back? Maybe I can even beat that train! Didn’t quite beat the train, but would have, if not for the zillions of traffic lights on El Camino! Also, I feel a LOT safer on a road bike, with narrower bars, than a mountain bike. On the other hand, on the old beater mountain bike, when a car looked like it might get in my way, I had this feeling of “Yeah, just try it, bring it on!” Was also thinking of one of the Star Trek movies where The Borg have defeated Worf’s battle cruiser so, for his presumed final command, he yells out “Prepare for ramming speed!” 🙂