All posts by Mike

He would have been 88 today. Hard to believe I’m 6 years older than my Dad when he died.

Personal stuff

This should have been my dad’s 88th birthday. Unfortunately, the genetics on my dad’s side of the family don’t seem to mirror that of my mom’s, or at least the women on my mom’s side. My dad died way too young; it’s just weird thinking I’m living through a time in my life that my dad never saw. In my mind, my dad will always be older and wiser than me. But he never got the chance, passing on May 25th, 1988, not quite getting to his 57th birthday.

He did, at least, get to spend some time with my daughter, Becky, who has born 4 months prior. It was a big thing, sneaking her into my dad’s room at Kaiser Hospital here in Redwood City, shortly before he died. Might have even been the night before.

I still have days where I feel like he’s around and I need to run something past him. More often are the times when you wish he was here. After 30 years, those times occur less often, but there are many triggers that bring those memories back to life. I remember very strongly a bike ride I took after hearing from his doctor that he had, if I recall correctly, about 4 months to live. I was riding through Portola Valley, descending Alpine towards Arastradero when it really hit me. This wasn’t hypothetical in any way, shape or form. There was an end game in play and nothing I could do to change it. You grow up believing that success is at least partly defined by being able to change outcomes, and this was an outcome I couldn’t affect.

Pre-Google, I couldn’t even go wild with research; you’d hear about quack cancer cures (laetril anyone?) and clinics in Mexico that desperate people would spend both their hope and money on, because someone had written a story about miracles happening and how could you not want to believe? I remember all that. And I remember in the last month, when the doctor told us it was time to discontinue treatment, and I’m thinking how can you do that? How can you give up all hope like that? But I realized that any treatment at that point would have been because of my need to do something, as opposed to doing something that might make a difference.

Of course, as long as I can remember my dad, he’s still with me.

Yesterday’s fog a welcome relief!

Tues/Thurs 7:45am ride

It was the best of times, it was the… no, yesterday morning was pretty much the best of times. For some reason I had two great Tuesday/Thursday-morning rides in a row, days where I felt like I could climb away from people if I wanted to. That’s a really odd thing for me. Yesterday, as was the case on Tuesday, I did several sustained higher-power efforts on Kings, well over 300 watts. Back in the day that wouldn’t have seemed like much, but today, it’s as welcome as the fog that came in to cool things down.

Kevin and Kevin rode with me, on a day where, a couple weeks earlier, we might have considered leg warmers. Not yesterday. Not because it didn’t get a bit cool a few places (as low as maybe 51 I think?) but because we just weren’t going to wear them. A protest of sorts. It had been too cold until recently, too hot the past week, so yesterday we were going to believe, whether true or not, that it was just right. And it was pretty darned close to that.

My time up Kings was nothing fancy, because I’d drop back and let Kevin & Kevin catch back up after each hard pull. Nevertheless my time through the park was my best in 7 or 8 months. Maybe I’m getting used to my post-fractured-pelvis body that weighs a bit less. One thing’s for certain though- I’m on track for pretty much the same results as this time last year, which means no deterioration from age 62 to 63.